


Cloud head

by pansexualdisaster



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Overthinking, maybe i self-projected onto hansol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 15:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20099449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansexualdisaster/pseuds/pansexualdisaster
Summary: Hansol gets lost in his head, but Seokmin is ready to get lost with him.  (very short)





	Cloud head

“Dude. Can you argue with actual proof, whether they are scientifical or not, that I, you, we are alive ? No you can't. You can not tell me honestly you have never thought about it before. Us being alive may be just a dream. Maybe we are in denial at the storage place or souls of the deceased. You don't know, and I don't either. God that's a pretty scary thought. I really hope we are alive, and that you are my real bestfriend, and that this rooming thing is really happening because you know, that's a really cool thing. You know, maybe it will end up just being an incredible dream, but I hope I don't ever wake up, because I hate it when I wake up from a good dream, it makes me feel terrible and sad for the next couple of days.”  
“Look, Sollie, I have to be honest, I have never thought about it, or not in depths, and not in a long, long time. But that's why I have you, right ? To offer me new things to think about.”  
They pause. Hansol is about to open his mouth again when suddenly :  
“You kow dude, with all due respect. I took this whole minute to think about it, and I don't think it really matters. I don't say this to invalidate your thought process, because your thinking was important, and if you had not done it, I would have never had an opinion on the matter. I just... don't think it really matters.”  
“What ?!”  
Hansol looks at Seokmin, horrified.  
“What do you mean the reality of existence does not really matter ?”  
“I mean I don't think knowing if this is real or not matters a lot. I like what this is a lot. Whether it is real or a dream. Maybe I wouldn't say the same thing if it turned out to be a nightmare, but in the mean time, I love it here. I can even thank my brain if it is the one hallucinating all this cool stuff. But I do not believe I have enough imagination to imagine all these intricate details, and to think all these complicated thoughts. But then again maybe I am underestimating myself. And if it's a dream, just a simple dream and I can only remember figments of it when I wake up, I'll try my best to make it come true. OK ? ”  
Hansol's eyes are wide open. Then he closes them.. Seokmin counts 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... seconds before he opens them again. Hansol then proceeds to sit up. Get up. Walk, turn back. Stare at Seokmin. Point his finger at him, open his mouth. Close it. Drop his finger.  
“I did not mean any disrespect Sollie. I love your brain and the way it works. I really do ! And even when I disagree with you, or when I do not feel up for the intense thinking your thoughts create in mine, I love the way your brain functions. I love how enthusiastic you get when all these questions pop up in your mind. I love that you trust me with it, it makes me feel good about myself to know that you do, really, it does. And even though you are not all of my reality, you are part of what makes it so awesome !”  
Seokmin pats the ground next to him. Hansol sits back down. The cold ground is so nice. It is too hot outside, altough it goes well with the fact that it is summer. Does it though ? Global warming is part of what is making it so hot and global warming is causing our planet to die, and us with it, but I mean, we caused it so don't we deserve to go down with Earth ? God we are all going to die and the next generation, if ever there is one, they are going to inherit a garbage pile they did not create and they are going to die, because of us, because of me, I am killing all of these people fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

Hansol shakes his head. 

Seokmin and Hansol reach out for each other's hand at the same time. It's a bit messy, but in a matter of instants, Hansol's left hand's fingers and Seokmin's right hand's fingers are interwined. Seokmin's thumb gently strokes Hansol's hand.  
“Hey there buddy, you're ok. I got you. Breathe. It's fine.”  
“I'm sorry. I got lost again.”  
Hansol hates it when his brain does that. He looks stupid, he know he does, because everyone, from that girl in middle school to that customer at the coffee shop this morning told him so. Or maybe they did not, not with words but their eyes. Eyes leave even worse scars than words sometimes, because it comes with the pity of not wanting to truly hurt him, because he is weak and he probably can not understand. Or maybe their eyes did not say that. Yes they did. He know everyone hates when he does that, because, for everyone, it feels like he did not listen, at all, and it annoys everyone because everyone just wants to be listened to and he can not even offer that, he thinks over their words and it is as if they never talked. Seokmin is probably no exception oh my god Seokmin is going to hate him. He has put up with it until there but that was the last straw wasn't it, no amount of apology can make up for it Seokmin hates me oh my God I am going to have to live with someone who hates me when he was my friend and I ruined it all because I am always too busy thinking ad I can't ever FUCKING listen oh my god oh my god shit shit shit shit FUCK  
Hansol feels a hand on his face. Then nothing again. He turns his head. Eyes meet Seokmin's.  
“Hey, it's ok. You're ok. I'm right here. Hey. Hansol, you know if you need anyone to be lost with, I'm right here, ok pal ? Hey, hey, hey, don't do that face.”  
“What face, that's my regular face.”  
“The I blame myself because I got lost in thoughts face.”  
Hansol tries to crack up a smile but the corners of his mouth instantly come back down. How is it that Seokmin knows him so well ?  
“What's going on in there ?” Seokmin gently says, touching Hansol's skull with his left index. “If you feel comfortable sharing, of course.”  
Hansol closes his eyes and rests his head on Seokmin's shoulder.  
“I'm so incredibly tired, I feel like I have not slept in days.”  
“I know, I know. You got a lot of homework left ?”  
“No, you're right, I'll probably just go to sleep.”  
“Hey, try writing it out, what you think. It might help you think about it more in depths later. You know, getting back to it later usually helps. To take a break. To put your thought process back in order. You know. ”  
“Seok ?”  
Seokmin looks down on Hansol, who opened one eye.  
“You're the best roomate I could ever ask for.”  
Seokmin blankly stares at the kitchen sink, or whatever is at eye reach. Then rests his head on Hansol's, and his back on the wall right behind them.  
“I love you too dude, I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it !!!!!!!! have a nice day/night !! (also please excuse my grammar/vocabulary cause enlish is not my first language..... sorry) (also i can't seem to leave all the line breaks i want to leave so :( forget the way the whole thing looks please)


End file.
